KQ6 transcript

Black Widow

 * "Wow. Hi, Gorgeous. What a luscious looking hunk of flesh you are."
 * "Ah! How charming of you to pretend not to know. I'm Black Widow, of course. The femme fatale of all femme fatales. Know what I mean? (wink wink)?"
 * "You know, I was just thinking it was time I found my fiftieth -- another husband. It would be quite a horror - I mean - an honor to have me as a bride."
 * "Mmm...Just look at my beautiful weaving. It's so light. So delicate. You'll never want to leave my little nest."
 * "Oh, Drat! *ahem* I mean... (giggles) The loss is yours. I'm sure you'll change your mind once you consider the advantages."
 * "Mm-hmm... Have you changed your mind? My offer of dead -- *ahem* web love is still open."
 * "That's right. Go with your feelings. Get closer to me..."
 * "Hmmm... Thanks for the memories..."
 * "Ahhh... How sweet the matrimony. I knew you'd change your mind."
 * "Ahhh... A widow AGAIN."
 * "That scrap of paper blew into my web from those books over there. The wind just thinks it can deposit anything here. Hmmph."
 * "After my goods, are you? What a greedy little man you are."
 * "Ha ha ha ha ha! That's what you get for preferring that old scrap of paper to me."
 * "Hey! Don't touch that thread!"

Bump-on-a-log

 * "He's right, you know. But he could be a little nicer about telling you. He's not a very pleasant stick in in the mud."
 * (sighs) "Oh, the trials of being a mere bump on a log."
 * (sighs) "It's true. He's right. Extremely irritating, but right."
 * "Oh, the cross that I must bear. Would that I could but avenge this uncalled-for abuse."
 * "Oh...you really won't make any progress that way. He'll hog that Swamp Ooze of his. You'll never see a bit of it. No."
 * "You see how he is?"
 * "He's an utter waste of oxygen. I'd save my breath if I were you."
 * "I'm Bump-on-a-Log, and that's my brother, Stick-in-the-Mud. We've had this thing about each other ever since our childhood. Mom always liked me best."
 * "He's a bit lazy, you see. He's got the only Swamp Ooze in the swamp right next to him. But do you think he'd move a finger to help you get some? Hardly. He'd try to brain you with it, more than likely. His temper's about the only thing that ever gets a workout, and that on yours truly."
 * (sobs) "Just because I can't reach anything, he thinks he can throw gushy swamp matter at me and just say whatever he likes. If only I could turn the tables on that heckler, he might learn some respect. But, as you can see, I'm a mere bump on a log, and must be content with my lot."
 * "You see how he is?"
 * "He needs a good thrashing, I'd expect. However, since you cannot go into the swamp, nor can I fight back, he will simply have to be born. Such is the life of a bump on a log."
 * "Oh, there's no changing my lot in life. (groans) A bump on a log is a defenseless creature, alas, and must put up with whatever cruelty fate dishes out."
 * "Really? (sighs) I appreciate the gesture, but the swamp is broader than it looks. Only a native like myself would be able to it him from here."
 * "Aha! Finally! Old Bump-on-a-Log's not so defenseless, is he?"
 * "The only thing you've ever given me is mud! Take this!"
 * "Okay, okay! I give up! Geez, sorry!"
 * "You mean it? Really? Brother..."

Sense Gnomes

 * "Five fierce guards of the Isle we be! "Watch for a foreign man," said he! With ears and nose, tongue, hands, and eyes. Its nature cannot be disguised. If man it be, then man it dies!"
 * "Old Tom Trow, smell your smell. Do that which you do so well."


 * "Listen! Hark you, Grovernor! Do your duty as you swore. With your ears, please tell us more."


 * "Taste, Grump-Frump, that we might know, whether friend or whether foe."


 * "Trilly Dilly, use your hands. Is it beast, or is it man?"


 * "Old Bill Batter, never fatter, vision can resolve this matter. Look you now, and end this chatter!"


 * "A man! A man! So say our nose! Into the waiting sea he goes!"


 * "A man! A man! So say our ears! We shall send him to his bier!"


 * "A man! A man! So say our tongue! To the Realm of the Dead we send this one!"


 * "A man! A man! So say our hands! We act at the Vizier's command!"


 * "A man! A man! So say our eyes! A man he be! A man, he dies!"

Shamir Shamazel

 * "Master... (hic) ...I followed Prince Alexander as you... (hic) ...wished. From the pawn shop over there, he just abstained... uh, just reprieved... (hic) ...he just got a magic map."
 * "Yes... (hic) ...master."
 * "With the map, Prince Alexander can travel anywhere as sickly... (hic) ...as quickly as I can."
 * "Hey, stranger! Come join me! The water is wonderful, and I can show you the way to the next island!"
 * "C'mon, jump in! A little water won't hurt you."
 * "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm swimming. Nah, I mean, come join me! The water is wonderful! I can show you the way to the next island!"
 * "What are you waiting for? I said I'd show you how to get to the next island, didn't I?"
 * "Come join me, if you're brave enough."
 * "(laughs) Not a very good swimmer, are ya?"
 * "Sorry. I think not! (chuckles)"
 * "All right, be that way! Don't come in the water! You'll be sorry!"
 * "Why do you make such an effort to climb th cliffs, young man? The Winged Ones who live on this island have the power of flight. (gestures) You could have it, too, if you'd only eat a berry from this magical flying Nightshade bush."
 * "See? The sweet berries will make you float like a petal on the wind. Try some."
 * "Come, stranger, trust me. Think of what I'm offering you."
 * "Who cares? Um, I mean... I am only a poor old woman who wishes you well, handsome stranger. Think of me as your Grandmama, if you like."
 * "Listen, son. I'd be happy to answer any questions you like, but only if you at least taste these delicious berries."
 * "Young man, you offend me! I try to help you and you insist on being rude!"
 * "Not the leaves, dearie, the berries. On top of the bush."
 * "Oh, goody! Eat quickly, dear boy, and I'll show you the way to the Lord and Lady of this isle."
 * "(chuckles) Slightly bitter, pretty one?"
 * "All right, then! Stay tied to the ground like a load of lead! See if I care! You... you... you... human..."
 * "Come on over here and see what I'm doing with these flowers. Never mind that stone fella on top of the gate. He won't hurt you any. He's just there to scare you."
 * "What difference does it make? just come on over here. I'll tell you my life's history if you still want to hear it. (chuckles)"
 * "If it's conversation you want, just come on over here. I'll talk your ears off if we can sit down and talk face to face."
 * "Come on through, I say. I can show you a path through the forest."
 * "Hmm? Hmm? Sure, bring it on over to this side of the wall where I can see it better."
 * Look, there's no point in hanging out here all day. I can show you the wondrous castle that lies in the middle of the island. Don't be so timid."
 * "(laughs) Gotcha this time!"
 * "You aren't gonna listen to me, are you? Well, we'll just see about that."
 * "Razzle, dazzle, snap and snazzle!"
 * "Send the ball of light to frazzle!"
 * "I've got a new master! I've got a new master!"

Stick-in-the-mud

 * "What do you think you're doing?"
 * "Well, you certainly won't get it there!"
 * "That's not Swamp Ooze! That's Swamp Muck!"
 * "Nobody asked you! Be quiet!"
 * (mocks)
 * "That's not Swamp Ooze! That's Swamp Slime!"
 * "Shut up! Shut up, you worthless bump on a log!"
 * (mocks)
 * "That's not Swamp Ooze! That's Swamp Sludge!"
 * "I'll show you a bit of it! I'll knock your head off with it if you don't stop yapping!"
 * (mocks)
 * "Well, hoity-toity! Look who's Mr. Want-So-Much! You think I got a job here, passing around precious swamp matter? You should be so lucky!"
 * "Never! I got your Swamp Ooze right next to me, and that is where it's gonna stay! This Swamp Ooze is mine, period!"
 * "She did not! That is absolutely not true!"
 * "Oh sure! Like, you've moved at all in the last century! Like, you're Mr. Physical Activity!"
 * "Oh, shut up! You couldn't hit the broad side of a barn, even if you had something to throw! Just shut up!"
 * "Now, Bumpy! Remember all I've given you..."
 * "Well, I guess it's not very pleasant having things thrown at you. (sighs) I'm sorry."
 * "Brother!"